By Kristen Donia

February marks the arrival of the second month of 2021. We are here. Fully integrated into this new year, this new space provided to us by the turning of the calendar.


To keep forward progress, we want to always look at our recent behavior and habits. Now that we are 30+ days into the year, we can look back and see how things have felt for us thus far. What brought us joy? What brought us pain? What was our self-talk like? What did we say to ourselves, whether out loud or in our minds, when we looked in the mirror? Were we kind? Did we give ourselves grace in this tender new period of change? Check-in. Do this weekly or monthly if you can.


As we begin reflecting back on the last 30 days. Let’s be clear, no matter how you feel or what happened from January 1 until now, you are still whole and perfect. This fact will never change.

Fresh Starts

Many times, we begin the year with a burst of energy. The fresh start often gives us motivation and inspiration to change everything immediately. I don’t need this or that, new year new me, it’s going to be different this year, etc. And while those are fine thoughts, we want to be careful not to set our expectations on changing, improving, and optimizing everything in our lives at once.


How are your intentions going? Give yourself grace as you ask yourself this question. What have you loved, what was difficult? And remember just because something was difficult doesn’t mean it was bad or there wasn’t purpose in it.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

We grow from the challenges in our lives, in the uncomfortable spaces. Change, real change, doesn’t come without the shedding of the old, which can often bring up feelings of discomfort, especially at first. After all, if we continue to live in our comfort zones, we are not pushing the limits to the fullest of our potential. You are on the right path, keep going.

One Day At A Time

The progress that sticks is normally slow and patient. It doesn’t happen in the blink of an eye. And it’s okay to feel as though you are in a slump. To experience days of unworthiness. We all find ourselves there, and often. When the thoughts of reaching new goals seem like a distant place to get to. Just remember to keep going.

Put Down the Scoreboard

Remembering all the while, you are not defined by your progress. You are not the sum of your accomplishments or how many changes you were able to make today, yesterday or last week.

You are here, perfectly imperfect and this is the space that matters. This space is where you are learning and loving and growing. It is a tender place. And it is not always linear, meaning a straight line from point A to point B. We often zig and zag in the in-between for a while before arriving in our space of newfound clarity and peace. Be patient with yourself.


Kristen Donia is a freelance writer living in a tiny house she built in sunny Southern Oregon. She has a Bachelors Degree in Education and has dedicated her life to studying and writing about empathy, vulnerability and enriching the human experience.