By Rachel Rubenstein, LCSW

Resiliency is the ability to go through challenges positively. Dealing with life’s upsets in a way in which we learn something helpful or useful. Resiliency is not necessarily “bouncing back” but “bouncing forward” with new skills and insights…moving forward, creating a new and improved normal.

Resiliency skills are what make us stronger, more insightful and help us learn new ways to deal with hardships. A few examples of resiliency:

  • Going through a difficult situation and coming out of it
  • Standing up for yourself
  • Responsibly moving through and out of what life throws at you
  • Making an effort to try your best, even when things are hard

How do we develop resiliency? Oh, yes we can! Resiliency is a skill set we can learn and practice. Here are some ideas to create resiliency:

  • Positive Attitude-Have a positive outlook and attitude, even when times are tough. Be sure to feel your feelings but add in some positivity.
  • Support System-Create a positive and helpful support system to lift you up when you feel down. Family, friends…even your pet can be supportive!
  • Giving Back-We can empower ourselves to help others through helping a friend, family member or teacher. Volunteering can give us perspective and increase our inner sense of satisfaction.
  • Healthy Communication-Communicating with others effectively can go a long way in improving our ability to cope during hard times.

Now what? You are in a tough spot and want to bounce forward into resilience. Ask yourself a few questions:

  • What can I manage and what is out of my control? If we look at even the smallest of things we can change, it can make a big difference.
  • Who can be my support? Finding a trusted adult or friend to talk to can help give you new ideas on how to manage the situation.
  • Is there something to learn from this? Often we can make things better by realizing what we can do differently next time or identify a new skill we can learn to make it easier in the future to manage.

Life happens and challenges arise. Keep moving forward and you will be amazed at just how resilient you actually are and can be. Have a question about resiliency? Not sure what to do? Find a trusted adult and talk about it. Call or text the Teen Lifeline 602.248.8336 (TEEN) or seek out the support of a professional mental health provider.

You got this, Girl!


Rachel Rubenstein, LCSW is a private practice mental health provider and educator located in Arizona who is passionate about assisting adolescents learn skills and insights to thrive!