By Kristen Donia

Let’s talk about self-love. The Oxford Dictionary defines self-love as:


/ˈˌself ˈləv/


noun: self-love

  1. the instinct by which one’s actions are directed to the promotion of one’s own welfare or well-being, especially an excessive regard for one’s own advantage.
  2. regard for one’s own well-being and happiness

What type of activities, practices, thought patterns do you engage in each day? Are you thinking loving thoughts about your mind and body?

Most of us often slip into a pattern of thinking that disregards our innate worthiness. Thinking that because we aren’t thin enough, tall enough, tan enough, or smart enough, we are not worthy of all the beautiful things life has to offer.

Thinking we have to achieve these things in order to prove that now we are worthy. Our system created these norms, allowing only one standard of beauty. Luckily, we are finally starting to see a change in our current culture.

A culture where online magazines and stores show clothing, bras, and swimsuits on a variety of sizes and races. The movements of body positivity and bringing awareness to fat shaming are gaining momentum with hopes that everyone will feel welcome in this world we all call ours, but have previously reserved it for only one type of body.

Today, we are seeing a movement of self-love in action. In that spirit, let’s spend time reflecting on how we practice self-love in our daily lives.

For this exercise you can grab a pen and paper, your phone, or you can simply sit and reflect on the questions in the moment. Giving them each time and space to grow in your consciousness, providing you with the answers you need to hear right now.


Self-Love Awareness Assessment

  • What do I love most about myself?
  • What kind of thoughts & activities make me feel good?
  • What is my favorite way to practice self-love?
  • What about myself am I most critical of?
  • What type of thoughts make me feel bad? Do I experience these thoughts at the same time every day?
  • What outfit in my closet makes me feel absolutely confident?
  • What is it about the outfit that I love? Are there more outfits that make me feel like this?
  • Who in my life is always encouraging me and makes me feel like I’m perfect just as I am?
  • Is there a person (or people) in my life that seems to make me feel bad? How much time do I spend with them? Would a boundary be helpful/beneficial and prevent feelings of inadequacy?

When you finish the above questions, spend a few minutes reflecting on your answers. What did you learn about yourself? What was surprising? Often when we step back, taking an objective look at how we feel, we learn where to give ourselves a little extra love, perhaps some more grace. Do this exercise again in a week or two, what changed? Tapping into how we truly feel, allows us to make subtle improvements that change our lives.


Kristen Donia is a freelance writer living in a tiny house she built in sunny Southern Oregon. She has a Bachelors Degree in Education and has dedicated her life to studying and writing about empathy, vulnerability and enriching the human experience.