By Bonnie Rigsby —
My previous article left off at the misery experienced as a young girl going into middle school with poor self-esteem and zero self-love. I was bullied incessantly when my hair randomly began to fall out during puberty. Thank God pain is temporary! Fast forward to many years later in my adulthood. I found my own healing in various ways…For example, I decided to use inspiration from my favorite movie and build my own “box of chocolates” (visual below) to learn how I could help myself release past pains that were blocking my current path. Thanks again to Forrest Gump! Hindsight is 20/20 after all…I said ok, out of the events in my life that were the most impactful, let’s just list them all, good, bad or indifferent, to see if any patterns come about that I need to be aware of as I try to heal. I’ve learned the hard way that you can’t avoid pain or it will grow bigger over time. You must face the “beast” head on, and find ways to release it in a healthy way, before you can move on and truly heal.
What I found with my personal box of chocolates exercise (above) was that most of the events that were really gut wrenching for me, bullying, divorce, abuse, etc. were defining moments that gave me the opportunity to change my path. I discovered that the most painful events in my life resulted in the most wonderful things that brought me to my happy life today. They made me whole because I chose to work through the toxic energy and experience. I would bet that every one of you have been bullied at some point in your life too. It’s rampant and it’s awful! But do you know what? It’s not about them, it’s about you. Living in your authenticity is where your power is! The moment you decide to break that chain of fear, and say you know what, I love who I am and I’m worth it. I need to rock my vibe the way I rock it, not be a carbon copy of someone else…You’re reclaiming your power. As time passes, you realize that nothing anybody else says matters. Your skin thickens, and you become more assured of how uniquely awesome you are!
My chocolates exercise taught me that pain is temporary. There is purpose in pain. You don’t have to suffer a life sentence. You can CHOOSE to let it go. To open up that pain, face it and flush it away. Say I’ve had enough of holding on to you, it’s time for me to march on and have a good life now. Thank you very much! I CHOOSE…I’m wearing my flower crown, my crazy colors and long feather earrings at almost 52 years old. That’s just what I love and who I am. No, I’m not too old for it! People look at me on the streets like I’m a freak of nature and that’s ok. Maybe I am! 😉 I’m unique and I’m me…I’m a good human and others’ opinions don’t define me anymore. It’s quite liberating y’all!
I encourage you to learn, use tools to figure out who you really are, not who you pretend to be worrying about what others will think if you reveal your truths. Once you figure it out, rock your genuine/authentic vibe y’all!
Step in that power, stay in that power and you will be ahead of that game called life. You can’t control the behavior of others. You can only control your reaction to any given situation. We’re getting too lost in the drama of the moment and we’re losing ourselves trying to be someone else. If what you’re doing is not working, try something else! If I had done this many years ago, I would not have spent so many years just being miserable and feeling like a helpless victim to the actions of others. You too, can find the help that you seek. The first step in reaching out or finding a better path is the hardest, but you can do it! You are WORTH the work it takes to get there. Everyone’s path is different, so I encourage you to explore and find the path that works for your individual needs.
As you can see from the joy in this picture, I’m soooo proud to say that I’ve recaptured the spirit and joy of that 5-year old girl and just being who she is. So, take steps to get out of your head and get into your heart. It WILL take work, but what better cause to do the work for your own greatest desires in this life?!
No matter where you are right now, you have the power to change your experience by shifting your mindset to a more peaceful place. Educating yourself, building a support system and reminding yourself you are NOT ALONE can help you along the way to building your emotional resilience.
I happily live and work in Gold Canyon, Arizona and would love to help you “rock your authentic vibe!” You deserve the life you want and there is hope for every one of you, no matter your own personal experience. Please don’t give up, you are loved, appreciated and worthy of all the great things life has to offer you! Ask for help and don’t feel guilty for being who you are.
The power and the choice is yours. You have to back it up with action, you can’t just talk about it. If I had these tools when I was young, I could’ve spared many years of suffering. Yes, rocking your own genuine vibe is going to be hard y’all! But do you know what? You’re worth it! Repeat after me…I…AM…WORTH IT! Mic drop!
Wishing you Peace, Love & Light y’all!
Bonnie Rigsby, Director of Sunshine/Owner of Let Your Soul Breathe, LLC; Specializing in Stress Management, Reiki Energy Healing, Life Coaching and Student Empowerment Curriculums